Because of You
by walkingdeaddaryl
Summary: Jace cheats on Clary and she leaves- heartbroken. when she arrives at a new institute she feels immediately welcomed and takes an interest in one of the guys- who has been thinking about her nonstop since she arrived. when Jace and the gang go looking for Clary, will she forgive him- or forget him with her new found institute? rated M for language and some INTENSE scenes.
1. Chapter 1

I walk down the hallway of the institute looking for my amazing boyfriend but stop when I hear a few grunts coming from the library. I smirk and figure that it is just Simon and Isabelle or Magnus and Alec. I walk past the room and into Jace's bedroom but he isn't there. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. His room is usually so sterile and pristine but I find his bed is unmade and one of his shirts has been thrown onto the floor. I straighten out the sheet on his bed and fold his shirt and put it on his bed but as I place it on the white sheet, I notice the distinct outline of red lipstick on the collar and a pang of nervousness go through me. _Maybe it's mine?_ I think. No, I don't wear red lipstick- ever.

I place the shirt back on the bed slowly and begin to walk timidly back down the hall to the library where the groans and grunts are continuing. I stand outside the doors for a moment until I hear a perky voice yell, "Oh Jace…"

My breath catches and my face goes hot. Without thinking, I push the old double doors open to reveal Jace pinning a busty brunette down on the carpet and kissing her chest. I stagger back in shock and try to make a quick getaway but my back hits the door with a loud and audible _BANG!_ The girl shrieks when she sees me and Jace's jaw drops and his eyes go wide. "C-Clary…" he stutters out.

I shake my head and turn around, ready to race down the hall and go home but a strong, calloused hand wraps around my waist and pulls me around. I look at his face with a few stray tears in my eyes. He still has the faint ghost of lipstick on his lips and jaw. "Y-You cheated o-on me?" I ask though it sounded more as a statement.

"Clary, you know I love you. You know I would never hurt y-" but I cut him off with a sharp slap across his face. I am not crying anymore- in fact there are no signs that I was ever sad in the first place. My face is just a solid slate of nothingness and neutrality.

"You don't know what love is. You will _never_ know what love is. You are too naïve and self centered to even think that you could care about someone other than yourself. I shouldn't be surprised. I was told over and over again by EVERYONE that you were going to destroy me. I should have listened. I guess Valentine was right about something- to love is to destroy." And with that I sprinted down the hallway. I could hear his pounding footsteps behind me but that only made me run harder. I sidestep into a bathroom and shut the door quickly. I lock the knob and I hear Jace trying to smash his way through. He calls my name a couple times but I refuse to listen. I take out my stele from my boot and draw a portal rune.

The portal is set up when Jace breaks the door down and sees me. I waste no time in diving into the portal and leaving Jace behind. I land on my knees on a beach. I stand up brush my jeans off and take a good look around. The sun is going down and the beach is surprisingly empty. I walk up the beach and find about six people dressed in shadowhunter gear battling about 10 viscous garmel demons. They seem to be struggling a bit so my instincts kick in and I jump into the fight. Jace and Isabelle and Alec had taught me some battle strategies and I have reason to believe that I am fairly good.

After a series of punches and slashes and kicks, all the demons turn to black dust and disappear. I turn around and see the strangers starring at me in confusion and wonder. No one says anything so I start out, "I'm Clary…"

Again a moment of silence and I debate just walking away until a girl with straight blonde hair cut into a bob speaks up, "Hey… um I'm Elizabeth- but please, call me El. This is Aaron," she says gesturing to the guy on her left. He has deep brown hair and dark green eyes and strong jaw and cheek bones. He is very handsome but the way the girl next to him clings to his arm makes me believe he is taken. She has wavy blonde hair that falls to her waist and long legs that she displays to me in a deadly fashion. "That is Megan," she says gesturing to the girl. "The guy next to Meg is Paul. Next to Paul is Laken, and next to Laken is Drake. We live in the Miami institute."

I look at the other guys and admire their looks. They are all very strong but each of them holds a special quality that sets them apart from each other. Paul has shaggy brown hair and amber eyes but he looks as though he holds many secrets. His demeanor and posture suggest that he has been through a lot and has overcome many obstacles- and that I admire.

Laken is tall with dirty blonde hair that is whipped to one side and bright eyes. He smiles at me, showing off two rows of brilliant white teeth. He has a perfect tan and a defined jaw bone. I take one look into his eyes and see a yearn for adventure and thrill.

Drake seems about a year older than me. He has short black hair and one of his eyes is green and the other is blue. He too has a gorgeous tan and flawless skin- not a blemish in sight apart from the stray scars that he received from a fight. He is absolutely gorgeous and gives off that whole "bad boy" vibe. He stares at me intently but never cracks a smile. He doesn't seem to be examining me or ridiculing me with his eyes, instead he simply stares at me while I begin to speak to El. "Uh, hey. I am from the New York institute. I kind of came here looking for an escape, but I would never want to impose-" but before I can continue, Laken speaks up.

"Oh please, you aren't imposing on anyone. We can offer you a place at the institute. The Clave does say that an institute shall remain open to any shadowhunter in need of shelter or help so… welcome." He gives me a wink and instead of blushing I smirk and laugh a little. I see Drake tilt his head at me- thinking about something but keeping his attention locked on me. I try not to stare back but his eyes are so captivating and interesting…

Megan shakes me back to reality by exclaiming, "Are you serious!? I mean it's not like we have any room! Kim and Ryan will probably say no anyway!"

I see Paul roll his eyes and say in an amused voice, "Okay Meg, one- we have plenty of room. There is a whole wing of the institute that we don't even use. Two- it isn't Kim or Ryan's choice. It is the law! Anyway, they will both love you," he reassures me and I smile at him gratefully.

"It will be fun having another girl in the institute Meg! Come on!" yells El.

She is about to reply when Aaron says, "Well how about we let her decide?" They nod and look at me expectantly.

I nod and say, "I would like to- a lot."

"Then it's settled. She can follow us back to the institute and we can get her story and all that pointless shit. Come on, institute is this way," says Laken. I laugh and follow him. I hear Megan grumbling something unintelligent behind me but I don't pay attention as Drake walks beside me.

"So Clary, why are you here?" he asks me. I look at him and say,

"I didn't want to be anywhere else, I suppose." He smirks and says,

"Okay… but HOW are you here?"

I sigh and say without looking at him, "That is a long, long story. I will explain later."

He nods and continues to walk with me until we reach the institute. The place is beautiful and looks exactly like the New York institute. It was big and old… that pretty much sums it up. "Drake, lead Clary to the library and I will get Kim and Ryan down here. He nods and takes my hand. I feel a sudden spark shoot through my arm but I ignore it. Only Jace has ever had that effect on me…

I can't think about him now, not after I just ran away from him. I sit down on the black leather couch as Drake stands across the room and stares at me. It should unnerve me but I feel comfortable under his gaze. About five minutes pass and a woman and man in their twenties barge in, curiosity written in their features. The woman sees me first and introduces herself, "H-Hi, my name is Kim… this is my brother Ryan… uh, we heard you were looking for an institute?"

I stand up and say, "My name is Clary… I am from the New York institute. I am a well trained shadow hunter and I came here escaping some people I would like to leave in the past." Everyone looks confused and intrigued so I explain everything, and by everything I mean EVERYTHING.

By the time I am done telling my story they are all humbled by my presence and I notice the slight pity in El's face. I reassure her with a smile and Ryan says, "Well, we would be more than happy for you to become a part of this institute here!"

I grin more and say, "Thank you… I don't know what to say,"

Then surprisingly Aaron says with a smile, "Just say that you will fight with us. Say that you will help us."

I smirk and nod my head. This was my new life and I wasn't giving it up anytime soon.

**A/N: thanks for reading! Please review!** **Tell me what you think about Drake and everyone else- but mostly the idea of Drake! I will be adding chapters every weekend! Thanks for reading REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

_1 Year Later!_

_Punch! Kick! Dodge! Duck! Punch!_ I knock Drake down on the mat, sweat dripping from his brow and a small gash on his lip. I walk over to help him up as I extend my hand to him. He looks at me with puppy dog eyes until he pulls me down with him. I lay on top of him as he gently pecks my lips. I smile and return the kiss and it becomes more like a passionate brawl. We end up with him on top of me, straddling my hips with his knees. "Do I win?" he asks in a husky voice.

I smirk and use my legs to switch our positions, "You doubt me too much."

His voice becomes low and he says, "Perhaps it would be more affable for me to be punished?" He raises his eyebrows suggestively which makes me giggle and I say,

"You wish." I get off of him and begin to walk to the door until he grabs my waist with his calloused hands and presses his lips softly to my neck. I blush- after six months of dating he still has the power to make me blush.

"CLLAAARRRYYY! DDRRAAAAKKEE!" I hear our names being called from down the hall and I step out of the training room. I see Paul waving his hands- frantically trying to get our attention.

"What is it!?" I yell back as Drake buries his face into my hair.

"You are going to be late for school if you don't shower NOW! Oh, and El wants you to help her pick out an outfit… or something like that?"

I smile at him and say, "Alright, I will be ready in about an hour."

I am turning around to go to the showers when Drake grabs my wrists. I look into his beautifully unique eyes and he says, "You know, I bet we would be out a lot sooner if we showered together. We would also be helping the environment by conserving water."

I scoff and say, "In your dreams!" and I run away. I run to the bathroom and lock the door and take a quick shower. I get out, dry my hair, and pick out an outfit- a pair of light washed skinny jeans, and a Jack Daniels crop top. I slip on my trusty combat boots and my red leather jacket and I do my makeup, dark and seductive. I walk out of the room and find everyone waiting in the hall patiently. I blush and say,

"Sorry guys… I got a bit lazy." Meg rolls her eyes and scoots closer to Aaron and I just smirk at her. I feel Drake's smile on me and I smile at him back. He puts his arm around me and I settle back into his hold.

"You guys are so cute it's making me want to throw up!" exclaims Laken with faked enthusiasm. I see Drake glare at him but I just gently elbow him in the ribs and say,

"I know… I know." Laken scoffs and says,

"Okay, well we need to go or Mr. Reafenall will kill me! Seriously, I would rather go head to head with a Ravenor demon than piss that dude off!" El chuckles and blushes- it's kind of clear she has a thing for him but he is unaware. That used to remind me of Iz and Simon but I quickly trained myself to stop comparing this life to that. We walk out of the institute and begin to walk to school. Drake holds my hand and rubs circles in my palms until we arrive on school grounds. Usually we stand out- with the leather and tight clothes- but today there was something distracting everyone- not that I minded all that much but it was out of the ordinary.

"Aw! Where's all my girls!?" complains Laken.

"Don't be such a man-whore Lake!" replies Meg. I laugh and begin to walk into the school, but I am stopped by a shrill voice screaming my name.

"Clary! Hey, hey Clary! I gotsta tell ya some news!" I roll my eyes and grit my teeth as I turn around and see Taylor Harley staring at me with eagerness and expectancy.

I can hear Drake's grin in his voice as he says, "I guess you are busy then?"

I quickly turn around and say, "Always…" He laughs and kisses my temple before letting me go. I walk over to Taylor and she begins ranting on,

"Like, have you seen the new kids? Like, he is SO HOT with a capital like, H! I like, would NOT mind inviting him over for like, a sleepover, like! Come on! Like, H. O. T! Like… just ugh! Hot, like I'm serious.

I tried my best to hold onto her words but when she interrupts herself with 'likes', it really throws me off. I didn't really care about the new kids, as long as they didn't cause me any trouble. I say goodbye to her and begin to walk to my class.

As I enter the art room, a strong hand wraps around my forearm. I expect it to be Drake, wanting a kiss goodbye so I turn around, ready for anything he tries to throw at me.

"Drake, you we sh-" but I never get to finish as I look into the golden eyes of Jace Wayland.

**A/N: PLEASE READ THIS A/N!**

**Sorry this chapter was so short! I just wanted to reassure everyone that this isn't going to be a story that moves too fast (or so I hope). Everything in this story happens for a reason! There is a reason Clary and Drake are SO CLOSE! There is a reason El likes Laken. **

**There is a reason Meg is jealous of Clary! And there is a reason Jace is back after a year and not before!**

**Please be patient and I will try to update as quickly as I can! **

**Thanks for reading! R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

I stare at him in utter shock and horror. Why did he have to come after me? He clearly had another thing going for him back in New York so… why!?" I see the corners of his mouth quirk up but I keep a stern scowl on my face. "Y-You're here! We looked EVERYWHERE and all along, you were here!" he yells in joy.

"Yeah… and exactly why is that!?" I yell at him in frustration. I don't want to let my guard down to him, but it's not like I can start a fight in the middle of the hallway.

His gaze becomes sickened by my attitude but I don't care. "Because I love you… you know that. And Alec, Izzy, Blood-sucker, even Magnus- they are all here. You're upset," he says.

I scoff and say back, "Yeah, I am a little bit! I am upset because I thought after what happened; you were going to LEAVE ME ALONE! I got on with my life so I KNOW you can get on with yours!" I hated to admit it but I could feel a part of myself protest with those words. I had gotten over Jace and I loved Drake. I never had to worry about Drake lying to me, or cheating on me… he was everything I wanted, so WHY was I still on a limb with Jace?!

"I could never get over you… you are everything to me, and you know that," he says quietly and looks at the floor.

I take a deep breath and say, "You have gotten over me. You got over me a LONG time ago. You just need to realize it. You don't need me Jace Lightwood… you don't need anyone." The last part of my speech was a little harsh- I understand- but I didn't regret it. It was the truth. Jace got over me as soon as he kissed that other girl. I was just a toy with him- a _friend._ I would never be more than that and at the moment, I wanted to be LESS. I didn't want to talk to him; I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to begin my life with love and fun- NOT DRAMA!

"Clary I-" but I cut him off.

"I have class… go home." And with that I waltzed into the art room and began to draw.

_After School…_

We walk back to school in a pack like always. Meg and Aaron in the front, Drake and I in the middle, and Paul, El, and Laken behind us. Drake walks with his arm wrapped securely around my waist and his head placed gently on my head as I rest on his shoulder. If you walked down the street you would think of us as a sappy couple with their children's names picked out but in reality, we have had a couple fights in the past- especially at the beginning of our relationship, but Drake would always make it up to me in a unique and totally him way.

I think about telling Drake about Jace and decide that it would be good if he was aware. "Drake?" I say suggestively.

He looks down with mischief in his multi colored eyes and asks, "What is it Clare?"

I smirk at the nickname and say, "I think I should tell you something… something kind of important." I look down at the ground- afraid of his reaction. Would he be mad? Would he be angry with me?

He notices my hesitation and stops walking, letting the others pass us. He holds my waist with one hand, pulling me against him, and tilts my head up with the other hand. "What's wrong Clary, and don't lie. You know you are a terrible liar."

I smile a bit and blurt out, "Jace is here."

His face goes stone hard and I cringe a bit. I don't know why, but I always get a little nervous whenever Drake gets mad. He has never hurt me- he would NEVER do that- but he has broken a couple vases and picture frames and there are a couple walls around the institute that have been victims of his temper. "What did he say to you?" he asks sternly.

"He just said that he was happy to see me and that everyone has been looking for me and… all that." He groans and I reassure him with a small peck on the lips and say, "Hey, it's not going to be a problem. I'm your girl no matter what! So stop acting like a drama queen and let's go home? I need to train and I was hoping you would want to fight against me?"

His face lifts and he says, "I don't know… I will have to look at my schedule. Maybe I can squeeze you in?"

I separate a bit from him and I say, "Well, I wouldn't want you to go to all that trouble. Perhaps I can get Paul to train with me…" I begin to walk away but he grabs my wrist and says,

"Wow now, let's not get crazy! You know I always have time for you- I would love to practice with you… and maybe some other stuff too…"

I roll my eyes and say, "Like I said… Paul doesn't have anything to do anyway."

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn!?" he yells into my hair as he kisses my neck.

I giggle and say, "Well, I was trained by the best."

"Hell yeah you were."

We get back to the institute and everyone is inside. There is some yelling and shrieks coming from the dining room so I wonder in there with Drake following very closely behind. I walk through the threshold and see everyone gathered around the table staring at 5 people. They hear our footsteps and the 5 people turn around. "CLARY!" she yells and jumps on my instantly. She hugs me until there is no breath in me and then gets up off the ground.

"What happened to you? Why did you leave?!" She sounds pissed but I am more confused. So Jace didn't tell them?

I shoot daggers to him and Simon comes up behind Izzy and gives me a tight hug. Magnus and Alec also exchange hugs but I don't dare go near Jace. I feel Drake wrap his hands protectively around my waist and I am pulled against him. I see El and Aaron smirk at Drake's action but I can only focus on the extreme anger that occurs on Jace's face. I feel a small warmth of victory at his jealousy. "Okay… so these guys are saying they need a place to stay and since we are the only institute around… we kind of have to give them rooms," says El.

"Well please, try not to sugarcoat it!" yells Simon from across the room. I smirk and say,

"Yeah, okay well… it's not really my choice now, is it?" With that I walk out of the room hurriedly. I go to my room and change into a pair of short black shorts. As soon as I am putting on my sports bra, Drake walks in. I don't get mad at him anymore for barging into my room; he has seen me in my bra and underwear before- but nothing less.

"I can kick those lightwoods out if you would feel more comfortable?" he suggests. I smile and say,

"Nah, I can handle them."

I feel his strong hands squeeze my bare stomach and he says, "Let's go fight, shall we?"

I smirk and say, "We shall," and he leads me out of my room and into the training area- where all hell would break loose.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I read through my story a couple times and I realized that I actually DO REALLY like Drake and I like their relationship. I know where this story will go and I can only tell you that some of you may want to go ahead and grab a tissue box because it's going to get kind of sad. **

**Thanks for reading! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter 4

We walk into the stuffy training room to see Jace starring down a seriously pissed Paul and Laken. I groan and walk in front of Drake and hiss, "What is going on here!?" to all three boys.

Jace smirks and says, "I was just explaining to these _kids_ that I am the better fighter here!" I scowl at him but Drake says in their defense,

"I doubt that you are that good! I know I could beat you any day." I shut my eyes and know what is going to happen next. I know for sure that Jace is now going to want to prove his skill and I have known Drake long enough that he would never turn down a fight.

"Here. Now. No weapons. Just fists and kicks," says Jace and I see the wicked grin spread onto Drake's face. They begin to walk towards the mat and I say,

"Fighting each other isn't going to prove anything! Just that you are both idiots with nothing better to do with your time!" though they don't seem to care or notice.

Laken and Paul walk next to me and say, "You Jace is fucked… right?" I laugh and nod but keep my eyes on the boys. Jace and Drake circle each other with so much grace and thought that even I am intimidated. They stare at each other in anticipation of the first move. Drake is the first to lunge at Jace but he quickly dodges his fist. Jace grabs on to Drake's outstretched arm and pins in behind his back as he pushes him to the floor.

Drake lies there with Jace on top on him and his arm behind his back and he seems to have given up until his legs come up from behind and wrap around Jace to flip the two's position. I cringe at the sound of Jace's face hitting the mat but keep my gaze locked on the fight. Drake delivers several powerful punches to Jace's face and when he is about to strike again, Jace springs his hand up to stop the upcoming blow. I hear a couple pops and snaps and Drake gasps. He gets off of Jace and cradles his hand in astonishment. Jace just smirks and says, "I told you I was the better fighter."

Drake scowls at him and is about to say something else before I punch Jace in the nose. The blow also hurt my knuckles but I ignore the dull throb and wrap my arm around Drake. I can feel his proud smile shine down on me as I lead him out of the training room, past Laken and Paul who lean on each other for support as they laugh. "That's my girl," says Drake huskily but I do not return a compliment.

Instead I glare up at him as I say, "That was a stupid thing you did back there." I take out my stele and draw an iratez on his broken hand.

"What, defending Paul and Laken and _you?_"

I sigh and shake my head, "You can defend us all you want but I would rather give Jace and everyone else a reason to leave- not stay. Jace is pissed now and he is going to stick around until he gets the better of you so just… don't do anything stupid!" I walk away from him in frustration and he doesn't follow. That was another difference between Jace and Drake. Drake won't follow me when I am mad or frustrated; he thinks I need my space. Jace would run after me and hold me until everything was alright again, and I kind of miss that…

I walk into the kitchen and see Magnus, Alec, Simon, and Isabelle talking. When I walk in, all attention is put on me. "Clary! Ugh FINALLY you are here! We looked everywhere you know! Magnus even offered to portal us to Bangkok in order to find you! Why did you leave? You left Jace really heartbroken. All he ever did was train and look for you. He didn't sleep, never ate, barely ever when on patrols… he loved you Clary, he still does. Why did you leave?" asks Isabelle with a pained look in her eyes.

I sigh and say back, "Things aren't always what they seem Izzy. And it _seems_ as though Jace wasn't honest with you."

Alec furrows his eyebrows and asks, "What are you talking about Clare?"

I look down at the ground and I say, "I left because of Jace…"

"Darling, why would you want to do that?" asks Magnus.

"H-He cheated… on me." I can feel a few confused and aggravated tears well in the corners of my eyes and I look away, remembering that day.

"What?! No, no way he did that! If he cheated on you why would he go through all that trouble looking for you!? He couldn't have done that Clary!" yells Alec. I understand that it must be hard to believe that his _parabaiti_ did this but it still hurt for someone to think that I was lying about this.

"She isn't lying Alec," says I strong voice behind me. I turn around and see Jace staring at me with a sadden expression etched into his beautiful face. "I did it. I was with another girl that day Clary left. I could try to justify what I did but… I don't deserve it. What I did was wrong and sick! I hate hurting you Clary, even when I don't know I'm doing it. You are everything to me… you are everything."

A few tears drip down my pale cheek and he steps towards me but I don't move away. "Just tell me, tell me truthfully, that you never thought about us after that day. Tell me you never wished we could turn back time and relive those days that we were happy. Tell me that… and I will give up. I will try to move on… I will disappear."

He holds my hands and looks at me pleadingly. I have to be truthful here. I can't let him believe a lie. "I sometimes… still wish… we could go back." I see him sigh and he leans his forehead against mine and whispers,

"I'm sorry, I love you. I'm sorry, I love you. I'm sorry, I love you," but I don't say it back. I just stare at him and wait for him to move away so I can catch my breath again.

"What does this mean? Are you coming back with us Clary?" asks Simon hopefully.

I look away from Jace and back at Simon. "I don't think so… I can't leave now. I hate saying it but… you aren't my only family anymore, Si. I need them and I like to think that they need me too. I can't."

"You have to come back! You can't just stay here with these people! You barely know them!" shouts Izzy in protest.

"I have known them for over a year! They take care of me and I take care of them! They took me in and they help me!" I say in defense.

"This isn't just because of them is it? Is this because of him? That Drake guy that always around you. Your _boyfriend_," says Jace with malice.

I nod and say, "I never could hide a secret form you…" He takes a deep breath and begins to walk out of the kitchen but says right before he leaves,

"I'm not giving up on you just yet Fray." And I catch the smirk that creeps onto his lips as he leaves.

I leave the kitchen and begin walking back towards my room when I hear Megan yelling at Aaron, "Well do you LIKE her now!? Is she better than me now?! Clearly you must have a thing for her or you wouldn't be so defensive against her. I see the way you look at her Aaron! You hardly ever even talk to her so why the hell do you think she likes you?"

I know it is rude to snoop but I can't help it as I lean closer to the door. "I don't like her like that Meg! She is like a sister to me, you know that."

"That's strange, guys usually don't look like they want to kiss their sister all the time, now do they?!"

I hear him sigh and then a couple of footsteps begin to approach the door so I silently slip around the corner and roll my eyes at the drama. Meg probably thinks he has a thing for El… classic. I walk the halls of the institute with no particular place in mind until I crash into Drake. "I was looking for you!" he yells as he gently grabs my arms.

"Well, you know… just taking a walk."

I see a small smirk form on his face and he says, "I want to apologize. I shouldn't have fought him. I should have walked away. Can you please forgive me? PLEASE!" I giggle and nod and he smashes his lips against mine and I react immediately- though this kiss is different from all the others. This kiss is like an ask for permission. I don't know what permission it needs but based on the way Drake pulls me closer to him aggressively, I think I get the hint. I pull away from him but I pretend like nothing is wrong and I smile and press my forehead up to his.

I can tell he is confused and a little let down but I pretend not to notice that either. It almost felt _wrong_ kissing him. A week ago I would have gone with it, hell- we probably would be in a different situation right now, but Jace was here now and that shouldn't change anything but it does. I am so torn and I want to blame Jace for all of this- for my feelings, for Drake's actions- but I know they aren't because of him. I loved Drake, right? Of course I did! I love Drake, I love Drake, I love Jace. Wait! No! Ugh!

Drake notices the war going on behind my eyes and asks me, "Is everything okay?"

I look up at him and give him a reassuring smile. "Of course I am. You are here, that means I'm okay."

He gives a goofy grin and says, "That's really cheesy."

I kiss him again and say, "That's what I was aiming for."

I can feel his chest vibrate with laughter and he kisses me again, forcefully and urgently. I return the kiss- trying to convince myself that I want this- but that nagging hesitancy stays in the back of my mind. I am so focused on trying to stay focused that I don't notice when Drake pulls me into his room. He begins clawing desperately at the back of my sports bra and when he slips his hand underneath the back strap, I stop. "Drake… I," but he cuts me off.

"No Clary, I shouldn't have pushed you. I am so sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

I give him a reassuring smile and say, "You couldn't hurt me if you tried." I peck him on the lips once again and say, "Okay, well I am going to shower _by myself_. I will see you later."

He nods and leaves the room and I undress and hop into the shower. When I get out, I wrap myself in a black towel and go out to my room. I walk in front of my closet and open it to reveal a selection of black, leather, and lace. I am busy contemplating a red leather jacket or black leather pants when I hear my door open and close again. I sigh and say, "Drake, I told you-" but when I turn around, it isn't Drake. It's Jace.

"J-Jace…" I say- startled. "I was just getting ch-" but he doesn't allow me to finish as he smashes his lips against mine.

**A/N: Yay! Okay, I wanted to thank someone that goes by the user-name Mimi-Marie34. I had kind of forgotten why I was writing this story in the first place- until I read some your story 'A Generation Later' so thanks if you are reading this.**

**Thanks for reading! R&R PLEEEAAASSSEEE! PPPLLLEEEAAASSSEEE! PPPLLLEEEAAASSEEE! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: i cannot believe that i did this! i seriously have had this chapter on the doc manager for 20 days and i never put it on the story... idiocy level has just shot to 100 and i have lost many IQ points! i am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry! i can't make this up any other way than to give you this chapter-**

I reel back from his kiss almost immediately. It was true- I had felt a spark of familiarization and warmth but the only thing I could think of was Drake. How could I do that to him? He has never cheated on me and every time I look at him, it's like we're falling for each other all over again. He stares at me with those golden eyes that appear to have a little more spark to them and I just look back in utter astonishment. "J-Jace… I can't."

His face falls and he says, "But why? I know you Clary, and this isn't you. The Clary I knew was-"_

But I don't let him continue. "Jace, that Clary died a long time ago. That Clary was frail, and weak- this Clary is different. I can't really explain it, but let's just say- you have no idea who I am anymore. I could never do this to Drake… he has never hurt me… not like you did."

"Clary, I should have told you the truth when I got here… that girl I was with that day… she was nothing to me. just listen, I didn't sleep with her because I wanted to, I did it because I had to. You were being threatened. That girl was a leader of the Bronx vampire clan and she said that if I didn't do what she wanted, she would kill you. I know, I know, you can handle yourself but Clare, you were barely training and you wouldn't stand a chance against them. I love you Clary, I always have and always will."

I didn't want to believe him, but the truth was plain on his face. Still, Drake. "But Drake-"

"He can't love you like I do."

"That's a little unfair!" I shout at him.

"But it's true! Has he ever hold you like I held you? Or kiss you like I just kissed you? Do you love him?"

I don't say anything, instead I just walk past Jace and into the hallway. "There's my girl!" I hear down the hall. I turn around and fake a smile as Drake picks me up by the waist and forces me to wrap my legs around him. He kisses me jaw and I giggle.

"Drake!" I yell in a childish voice. He laughs and pull away and I see that mischievous grin he always gets when we kiss. "Let's go do something," I say.

He raises an eyebrow and asks, "Us, as in me and you? Or us as in me, you, El, Paul, Laken, ect…"

I roll my eyes and say, "No! Just me and you!"

He smiles and kisses me again and says, "I'd like that."

We begin walking towards the door when we hear El scream, "I know you aren't leaving without us!"

I can feel Drake groan and I smirk as I see El, Meg, Paul, Laken, and Aaron. "Yeah, I need a new pair of red pumps," says Meg with a look of distaste on her face.

"Well, come on then!" yells Laken and we run out of the institute. Meg and Aaron walk in front of everyone holding hands and whispering sweet things into each others ears. El stands very close to Laken and swings her hand very near his in an attempt to hold his hand but he is too focused talking to Paul. I stand next to Drake and he rubs circles in my palm. We walk past a house that seems to be on fire. There are caution signs and tape all around the perimeter and firefighters rush frantically to put out the flames. I hear from a police officer that no one else is inside but I can see Paul go rigid and white as he stares into the heart of the flames.

Paul has always been nervous around fire- even candles- but I never asked why. This time though, I do. "Drake, what happened to Paul before he arrived at the institute?" He sighs and holds us back behind the group so we can talk.

We begin walking again and he tells me Paul's story. "Paul came to the institute when he was 12. He had ran away from his home and when we arrived, he was hurt- bad. He had massive cuts all over him and bruises- but the worst of all was the burn across his back. He had told me that he got that because he spilt paint on the garage floor. He was being abused since he was 5 and ever since… he can't handle fire. It took him about a year to even pick up a knife without hesitation."

"That's awful…"

"Yeah, it is. But he is safe now." I smile at that.

We catch up with the group and walk a couple more minutes until I hear the ugly snarl and smell the sickly stinch of a Drevak demon. I see it's burning tail whip around a corner and nudge Drake towards it. He nods his head and we all start creeping towards it, seraph blades at the ready. We round a corner and see a whole group of demons ready to attack. We all spring into action.

I begin to slash one demon with my blade and it whips its tail around my ankle. I fall to the ground but just as it is about to crush me with its fangs, I stab it in the roof of its mouth and it disintegrates. I notice the dead silence that follows and I look around. My heart stops as I see everyone gathered around Drake, who is lying I a pool of blood.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update. I have been in Tennessee for the weekend and haven't gotten a chance to update. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

I run to his side and push people out of the way. "No, no, no, no! Drake, please wake up! Please!" but he doesn't open his eyes; he doesn't even flinch. I look around and say, "Call everyone! Tell them to get the infirmary ready as soon as they can! We have to get him back, NOW!" I yell the last part which makes Paul flinch but I don't care. I turn my attention back to Drake and take out my stele. I examine the wound thoroughly and see the gory slash that bleeds on his stomach. The sight makes me want to throw up but I can't be bothered with that now.

I begin to gently trace healing runes around the wound but they all just turn bright red and disappear. I had never seen that happen before and I am still not getting a response from Drake. "Paul, you get his legs, girls hold him by his back and support his head. Clary, you need to make a portal back to the institute. Laken, take off your shirt and apply pressure to that. I will stay on the lookout for more demons if they come while Clare works on that portal. HURRY!" instructs Aaron and I can't help but appreciate the authoritative tone in his voice. I shudder and rip myself away from Drake as the others lift him up and Laken takes off his shirt. I numbly and quickly begin to draw a rune on the brick alley wall. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding when the dark marks turn a brilliant light blue- almost white- and glow, then the wall begins to strip of its brick and a blue swirling portal appears. We waste no time walking through and the next thing I know, we are back at the institute.

"Clary? Oh my angel! What happened!?" exclaims Isabelle when she sees us covered in blood and Drake's lifeless body being carried into the infirmary.

"H-he got stabbed… by a demon… I-I don't know. Where's Magnus?" I stammer out.

"I'll get him Clary! You go in and help the others!" I nod and run into the infirmary where Drake lays shirtless on a sterile white bed that now holds large stains of copperish blood. I can feel the liquid heat poor down my face as I rush to his side and grip onto his cold hand that is limp in mine. I whisper sweet hopes and wishes to him as everyone rushes to get medical supplies. Everyone stops in their tracks when we hear the double doors of the infirmary slam open and the sparkly warlock waltzes in with a look of seriousness and determination embedded in his usually sarcastic and fun featured face.

"Everyone out," he instructs and to my surprise, no one says a word. Everyone leaves excepts me. "You too Clary. I don't want you to see any of this." I can feel my heart clench but I nod and release Drake's hand and walk out of the infirmary. I rush into the arms of the first person I see- Simon.

"Shh. He will be fine. He seems about as stubborn as you so, he'll make it," he says as he strokes my hair.

"How do you know? How do you know everything is going to be okay?" I ask in between sobs and gasps.

I can feel him sigh and I pull away from him and he says, "I don't know. But just because I don't know, doesn't mean you should lose hope. Everything will work out- I can feel it."

I nod and begin walking into the parlor where everyone had gathered. Everyone is standing up with painful expressions and Paul seems to be lost in thought. I can see El is silently sobbing in the embrace of Laken. I feel a warm and delicate hand cup my shoulder and I turn around to see the deep brown eyes of Izzy. As if on cue, we both hug each other tightly. Izzy doesn't cry but I don't expect her to. She barely even knows Drake- and he's kind of hard to get connected with. I'm just glad that she knows that I need comfort right now. I wait for more tears to come but my eyes stay dry and bare.

We all wait for hours until Magnus walks out of the infirmary with a regretful expression on his face that makes my heart sink. "He… he isn't doing good. The venom… it got to his heart too quickly. I can't do anything but give you time. And right now, he doesn't have much. There isn't anything I can do." I stand there looking off into space with a neutral expression on my face. He is going to die. "If you wish to say goodbye, you should do it now. He only has an hour or less."

I hear the multiple gasps around the room and I just nod. I can feel heat flood my face and ears and all I see is black. I wait a few moments until everyone is done saying their goodbyes to Drake and then it is my turn. I take slow steps to the doors and gently nudge the doors open. When I see him, all the pain and remorse I felt earlier comes back in a smashing wave. He lays on a different bed with a white bandage wrapped tightly around his abdomen. The bandages is stained with black and red blood and I can see the veins in his neck and shoulders and chest clearly because they have turned purple and blue and red. Everything about him screams for relief but his eyes tell me he is holding on. His skin holds no life at all- he is like a ghost. His lips are a pale blue and his breathing is shaking and pained.

I walk over to his side and he watches my every step. "Hello love," he says in a desperate voice and I can see that each breath is killing him. I manage a chockes laugh and I take his hand gently.

"Hey," I say.

"Just you wait, tomorrow I'll be out of this bed and we can finally go to that ice cream parlor you wanted to go to. I'll be back kicking demon ass in no time. Don't you worry about me."

Tears flow freely down my face as I hear him talk about tomorrow as if he will be here to see it. "Y-you know, ice cream is really overrated," I say, trying to lighten the mood. His mouth forms a strangled grin and he attempts a laugh but when he snaps his eyes closed and his teeth clentch, I can tell it is all too much for him. I look at him with blank eyes and he says,

"Don't look at me like that. I've been in worse condition… can't think of a time right now but…" his breathing is becoming lighter and even more shallow and I can see him struggle to remain conscious.

I take a couple deep breaths and then scoot closer and I brush some of his hair off of his forehead and say, "You know, it's really okay… if you're ready. You don't have to be here anymore if you don't want to. I- I know you're in pain… you've been in pain for a long time. Just let go… let it all go. You don't have to hold on anymore."

His playfulness disappears and he stares at me with a deep frown embedded in his face. "But if I let go… I let you go."

I kiss his forehead and say, "No you won't."

He takes a shaky breath and says, "I know I'm dying… so you have to promise me one thing. You can't shut people out… and you know who I'm talking about. I see how he looks at you… and I know you used to look at him the same way. You- you can't shut people out Clare… they need you. And you need them."

I kiss his hand and say, "I promise…"

I see the faint smile on his lips before he whispers, "I love you." And his eyes close. I watch for a moment as his chest lightly rises and falls and then stops. Sobs take over my entire body and I cry inot the white sheet for a few minutes. When I stop crying, I stand up and walk to the doors where everyone is waiting outside. When I walk out, all eyes are on me. Almost Meg and El are sobbing and the guys hold a pained expression on their face as they stare at me with hard eyes.

"H-He's gone."

**A/N: I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in forever! Cross country practice has been killing me- our practice on the weekdays is 3:30-8… so I don't really have time in the week and my only time to update is on the weekends. But- the season is over in November- so hopefully I will be updating more then (I know a looooong time- sorry :( )**

**Anyway- thank you SO much for reading this story! please review! I should have the next chapter up either today, or next weekend! REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 8

I slip on the long, white, halter top dress and white sandals and grab my stele from the mantle and walk out the door. Tonight was his funeral. As I walk out the door to my room, I meet El as she walks down the hall. She gives me a small smile but anyone can see she is clearly distressed by her tear stained cheeks. I walk past her and she follows behind me. We meet everyone else in the foyer. Meg is popping out Aaron's collar of his white and black striped button down while Paul runs his hands through his hair.

"We're all ready," says Laken behind me. I turn to meet him in confirmation and he nods his head. I lead everyone out of the institute and we walk down the crowded New York streets that somehow seem bare and desolate tonight. We arrive at an old cemetery and walk to an old archway that could crumble any minute. Standing on the other side of the arch is four silent brothers including brother Jeremiah.

An antique wooden casket with a glass cover sits in between everyone. _His death was a valiant and noble one,_ says brother Jeremiah, _but it is now time that our fallen shadowhunter join the rest in the silent city. _ The four silent brothers walk in unison over to a patch of green grass and wave their hands over it. The grass disappears and a steel door appears in its place. As it opens brother Jeremiah says, _if you wish, this would be the time to bless him and send him._ I give him a numb nod and we all walk closer to the casket. We all take out our steles and kneel in front of the wood and draw different runes. The rune I draw is for peace. I hope he will always be at peace. We all rise, our steles still glowing a brilliant blue, and hold the steles vertical at our chests as we walk with the casket to the doors. We stop walking as the Silent Brothers descend into the dark abyss and we watch as the box follows. When the gate closes there is nothing but silence and the grass returns to its place. We stand there in silence for a moment until Aaron is the first to turn around and we all follow him to leave.

When we get back to the institute there is a sudden wave of eeriness that accompanies us. Aaron goes straight to the mantle and grabs the bottle of scotch and pours himself a drink. "Want any?" he asks us.

"What are you doing Aaron?" asks El desperately.

He takes a large swig and says, "Just drinking to a fallen friend."

I shake my head and leave the room. I wonder down the halls aimlessly until my feet stop in front of a door. I can't quite remember whose it is so I knock lightly on the wood and wait. I turn my back and am about to go back to my room when I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I crane my neck back and see the warm caramel eyes of Jace and I immediately turn around. "Come on," he says and juts his head to the side. I walk into the clean room. The only thing that seems off about the room i9s the various crumbled up pieces of paper that are scattered around the desk and floor. I pick up one of the papers and uncrumble it so I can read what is written.

_Clary,_

_I know you hate me but-_

And then the letter stops. I walk to the desk and pick up another paper_._

_Clary,_

_I can't tell you how much I miss you and-_

Again, the letter stops. I turn to face him, the paper still in my hand, and I see him staring at me intently. "What are these?" I ask as he moves closer to me.

He is only centimeters away from me when he takes the paper out of my hand and says, "I could never find the words…" but he leads off. I tilt my head to the side and ask, "What do you need to say?"

He doesn't say anything; instead he wraps me in his strong arms and plants his lips firmly on my forehead. I could tell by his stiff posture that he wanted more but he was respecting the fact that I was just at my boyfriend's funeral. I untangle my arms from his and place my hands on his strong arms to push him away. He looks hurt for a moment but I quickly amend that by grabbing him by the sleeves of his t-shirt and gently pulling him closer to me. He stares at me while I stare at him lips and before he can say anything, I softly press my lips to his.

I can feel his breathing hitch and the small smile curving on his lips as he tries to push me closer to him. I separate after a few seconds and see his eyes have a small spark in them and his breathing has picked up. He presses his forehead to mine and says, "Thank you." I let out a few strangled breaths.

"I'm tired," I say neutrally. He nods and says, "Yeah, right. I'll see you in the morning then?"

I let out a small laugh and say, "Trying to kick me out?"

I see his eyes light up and can tell he is trying his best to suppress a smile and he says, "Never."

He motions for me to lie down and I oblige. I lay down without changing into PJ's and I feel the pressure of the bed go down as he climbs in after me. His strong arms wrap around me protectively and I spin around so I am facing his strong chest. I'm drifting off when I hear him breathe out, "I love you, I love you, I love you," and I do the last thing I thought I would, I smile and think the same thing.

**Jace pov**

I wanted to be with her now. I wanted to be with her while she was at her lowest point but I knew she wouldn't let me in. I spent all night trying to explain everything to her but I always come at a loss for words. My feeling could not be put on paper and I got so frustrated! I crumple up yet another piece of paper when I hear a knock on the door. I figure it is Isabelle here to lecture me yet again so I muster up the courage to face her. When I open the door, however, a small and broken red head stands there with a neutral look on her face.

She looked so broken and emotionless and I hated seeing her like this. "Come on," I say and motion for her to come in with my head. A flash of relief plays across her face as she steps in. I watch as she picks up one of my futile attempt off the floor and reads the few words. She walks to my desk and picks up another.

"What are these?" she asks with nothing but curiosity written on her face and I answer,

"I could never find the words…" but I lead off as I begin walking towards her. I wanted nothing more than to be closer to her but I knew she needed her space. She tilts her head and asks in that incredibly enticing voice, "What do you need to say?"

I still don't know what to say, I just need her in my arms so I wrap her into me and press my lips gently to her forehead. My whole body is stiff in anticipation and then in disappointment when I feel her pull away from me. She looks at me for a moment and then grabs me by my sleeve and pulls me closer to her. My heart beats a mile a minute and I can only pray to the angel that she can't hear it. In my greatest surprise, she presses her soft petal-like lips to mine softly- yet firm at the same time. I feel those fireworks that I love so much go off in my head and I want to stay like this with her forever but I know it can't last. She pulls away and that warmth is gone.

I stare at her and say, "Thank you," because I don't know what else to say.

A few moments pass until she says, "I'm tired," and I realize that she must want me to let her go so I step back and stutter out, "Yea, right. I'll see you in the morning then?"

A small smile appears on her face and a light laugh as she says, "Trying to kick me out?"

A wave of relief washes through me and I say, "Never." She lies down in my bed and I crawl in after her, relishing in her warmth as I wrap my arms around her. I breathe in the scent of her hair and she turns around in my arms so that she is facing me. I think she is asleep so I mutter out, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

**A/N: I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I waited this long to update! Regional's for cross country are coming up and I am very proud to say that –even though I am the youngest on the team- I get to lead us into REGIONALS! I hope you all can forgive me for the long delay! We run 11 miles a day without stopping and I am absolutely out of it when I come home- then I have homework and… it's just a big mess!**

**The season is over on November 2****nd**** so this won't last that much longer! **

**I have fall break coming up soon and practice will be from 4pm to 8pm so I will be able to update before then DEFINITELY! Thank you to all the people that have stuck with this story so far!**

**I was trying my best not to make Clary look like a slut in the end so I didn't put a makeout session in and I know that Jace was a little OOC but that will change in the next chapter. **

**I'm sad to say that when Cross Country season ends- that doesn't mean practice ends. After the season practices are cut shorter but I also have Lacrosse coming up and- UGH! I'm just really sorry…**

**I will try my best to update as much as possible over the weekends and over my fall break.**

**THANKS FOR READING! REVIEW!**


	8. Chapter 81

**A/U: Sorry for the delay! Enjoy!**

I wake up and I am still in the warmth of Jace's arms. Drake told me that I couldn't shut people out anymore- and I'm not going to. I look up at his perfect face and see him staring back at me. A small smirk tugs at my lips as I say, "Watching me sleep is a new low for you Jace." I can feel a slight chuckle come from his chest as he says,

"How could I not watch an angel at her most peacefulness? It's a once in a lifetime sight for those who are lucky enough to capture it."

"How insightful," I say with sarcasm. "It's time to get up." He groans but is able to peel himself from the sheets and I follow. Although I immediately want to dive back under the warm sheets and tug Jace with me, it's already 6:30 a.m. and usually I am up at 5:45 so I can beat El to the showers.

I decide that I am NOT going to leave the institute today, so I fling my unruly hair into a messy bun on the top of my head, slip on some dark skinny jeans, and pull on an oversized knitted sweater that reaches about mid-thigh. I sigh at my reflection and walk out the door while Jace gets in his cold shower.

I walk down to the kitchen where everyone is eating and mumbling casually, but not comfortably. "Hey Clare," greets Aaron from the other side of the room. I give him a smile and expect his gaze to shift back to Meg who was obviously talking to him before I walked in, but his gaze stays on me and causes me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion. I stop looking at him when Laken gets my attention from the doorway.

"Hey Clary… you feeling okay?" I turn around and say to no one in particular,

"Yeah… I'm fine… please, just don't worry about me like that." No one says anything, just goes back to their breakfast except for Aaron who still keeps his gaze locked on me. He is making me increasingly irritated so I leave the kitchen silently without breakfast and go to the library.

I open the doors and see Magnus, Alec, Simon, and Izzy sitting down on the sofas and chairs and they seem to be in deep thought. "What's going on?" I ask hesitantly.

Everyone looks at me nervously but it is Simon who says, "We've been called back to New York. Apparently the clave thought it was irresponsible for New York's shadowhunters to flee without a notice." He gestures to Isabelle and Alec who look particularly frustrated.

"Oh…" I say and let my voice lead off. Are they leaving now? After everything that just happened? Am I being a hypocrite? I left… UGH!

"Clary, we're trying our best to call for replacements so we can stay here but the Clave doesn't enjoy being outwitted… so they're making it nearly impossible to call for others," says Isabelle with a somewhat defeated expression on her face.

"Izzy, you don't need to worry about any of that. Besides, New York is your home. I know you miss it." She sighs when I say this and I take that as a confirmation. "Would you come with us, if we left?" she asks.

I stare at the carpet and mutter, "I don't know," I then look back up at them and say, "Drake may be gone, but he wasn't the only thing keeping me here. El, Paul, Laken, Aaron, even MEG! They are as much my family as you all were. How… how do I just leave one of you behind? How is that fair?"

"Clary… look I know that you have known these people a lot longer than we have known them, but you have known US a lot longer than they have known you. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but… just think about it. We may miss New York but that doesn't mean you don't either. I know you miss Java Jones's and Taki's, and that really weird book store that smells like ballpark peanuts and mold!" rants Simon.

I laugh at his persistence and say, "That all is very true but if I left… I would miss Milo's and hole-in-the-wall ice-cream chop that smells like waffles and stale popcorn! I'm really not going to get out of this easy, Si."

He groans but gives up. "I could always… visit…" I say timidly.

"You could always visit here too," says Isabelle so quietly that I almost missed it. I don't say anything and after a few moments of silence I ask,

"Does Jace know that you have to leave?"

Alec shakes his head and says, "No, but when he finds out that you aren't coming with us, that won't really matter anyway. He'll stay here- with you."

I groan. Alec is right. Jace can't stay here though! He belongs in New York! His family is in New York! I would… have to convince him that I wasn't worth it… I would have to make him want to leave… I would have to… oh no.

I knew what I needed to do… and it was going to break my heart.

**SUPER SHORT CHAPTER! Sorry guys, I know I'm being a little unfair but I have science, Geography, and Essays to type on this dinosaur computer! I will update as soon as I can! Thanks for reading!**

**Oh! And comment on if you think Clary should go back to New York or stay in Florida!**

**REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

I walk down the hall and knock on the wooden door. I fiddle with my hands and try my best to ignore the queasiness going on in my stomach. The door opens and I smile pathetically. "Sorry if I woke you," I say.

He smiles at me and says, "You didn't wake me Clary, what's on your mind?"

"Um, I have to ask you a big favor Aaron…" I say as I look back down at the floor.

"Anything… what is it?" he asks while pinching his eyebrows together.

"Um, perhaps I should talk about this alone?" He nods and I walk into his room and tell him everything.

**JPOV:**

I've been looking around for Clary everywhere and I still can't find her! I told her earlier that I would meet her for lunch but she never showed up. I walk into the library and see Alec, Magus, Simon, and Isabelle all together and looking unhappy. "What happened?" I asked as I walked into the room.

"Jace! Uh, what are you doing in here?" asks Isabelle nervously.

"Looking for Clary… what's going on?" I ask timidly.

"Jace," begins Alec, "We need to go back to New York… if we don't they will take our marks and we won't be shadowhunters anymore. The clave claimed that we betrayed them by abandoning our place at the institute and if we didn't return immediately, they would take all of our marks and take the Institute."

The news both shocks and infuriates me. I know Clary more than anyone and I know that she wouldn't leave her family here, but if it was for him… certainly she would reconsider? "That's bullshit!" I yell out in anger.

Before anyone can say anything else, I am out the door looking for Clary so we can talk.

**CPOV:**

"So that's what I need you to do… and after that, we forget everything- like everything goes back to normal and no one else has to find out."

He looks at his hands and asks, "Are you sure you want to do this? You could go back with them you know… we would understand. I mean, I like you Clary, a lot- you probably figured that out a long time ago whenever I would glare at Drake whenever he kissed you or…"

I fall into silence and shock. I had no idea that Aaron liked me like that and I felt bad that I couldn't say the same for him. "Aaron… I'm sorry… maybe I shouldn't have asked you," I begin to walk to the door again but he catches my wrist.

"No, Clary I understand. You don't like me like that… it hurts but, I get it. I'll still help you, as long as you are sure that you can go through with it."

I nod my head and say quietly, "Thank you."

He nods and says, "So… what? Do you want to just get this over with? Or do you want to wait till tomorrow?"

I shake my head and say, "It has to be today, if they wait any longer then they will be stripped of their runes. I can't be responsible for them becoming mundane."

He nods again and says, "Alright, take my hand… let's go find your prince charming." He has a shallow smirk on his face but I can see past it and tell that it hurts him that after this he is nothing more to me than a friend again.

I take his hand with my clammy ones and we walk out of the room. We walk along the corridors a little while until I hear his charming voice ask, "Have you seen Clary?"

I smile at him and then feel the hot tears in my eyes as I think of what I have to do. I hear his footsteps come our way and I whisper, "Now!" to Aaron.

He turns to face me and I walk backwards so that my back is against the concrete. He walks towards me and looks at me as if asking if I wanted to change my mind quickly. I shake my head and just as I see Jace's golden hair whip around the corner, Aaron gently presses his lips to mine. Kissing Aaron is strange and uncomfortable but I stick with it.

"What the hell?!" I hear Jace yell and Aaron and I separate immediately. I hate the look on Jace's face- the look of betrayal and hurt.

Before I can say anything, Jace throws a punch at Aaron, effectively hitting him in the jaw. Aaron stumbles backwards but doesn't do anything. Jace hits him again in the ribs- hard. I finally come to my senses and pull Jace off of Aaron. "How could you?!" he yells in my face.

Tears rim my eyes and I try to speak but he cuts me off again. "I thought we were done with this?! You know, I was going to come talk to you about coming with us, but now I know I don't need to! You have clearly changed too much for me to stick around or for you to come with me so do us all a favor and stay here- in your perfect world with your perfect boy toys! Congratulations, you finally got what you wanted _Clare Bear!_" he stomps off the other way and I can't help the strangled sobs that come out.

"It's going to be okay Clary…" starts Aaron but I pay no attention and walk away to the training room. I needed to take my stress out on something and a punching bag sounded so good right now.

I begin to jab and hit the bag with all my might until it's all out of me. I stop the bag from swinging and cry into the rough material. "Oh Clary… you really did it this time, didn't you?" asks a soft voice behind me.

"I had to do it Elle… I had to make him go… he couldn't become a mundane for me and I couldn't leave you all… you are my family as much as they are."

"Sit down… tell me what happened." I sit down next to her and try to wipe away the hairs sticking to my forehead with sweat.

"I had to Elle… I made Aaron p-promise me that he would help me. W-we kissed in front o-of Jace so he would see and w-want to leave… and I didn't realize how heartbroken he would be."

I can feel her laugh beside of me and she says, "of course he would be upset Clary! I see the way he looks at you- you are his world. And, don't worry about us! We can come see you and you can make portals anytime you want to come see us…"

"Well it doesn't matter anymore does it?" I say while sniffing and drying my eyes. "He's going and he doesn't want me to follow… and I don't blame him. I stabbed him in the back only a day after we made up."

"Of course it matters," says another voice from the door. I look up and see Isabelle looking at me sympathetically.

"So you heard?" I ask pathetically. She nods and says,

"Yeah Clare, I heard. I also heard how heartbroken Jace was… he is heartbroken because of you and the only way he can ever be better again is if you help him. He may say he is angry and you may think he hates you, but I have known my brother a lot longer than you have and I know that even though he may be angry now, all he really wants is you… all he's ever wanted was you Clary."

Another strangled sob comes out and I say, "Not anymore… he hates me Izzy!"

She rolls her eyes and says, "He couldn't hate you if he tried."

"Come on," says Elle. "We've got to fix this mess." She gets up and offers her hand which I gladly take and we walk down the halls. We walk past Aaron whose jaw is now swollen and bruised and there is a little blood on his chin.

He smiles at me but I don't return it and neither of us say anything. I walk past my room and see a familiar golden boy with a bag, packing his clothes. He turns around but his face is at the ground so he doesn't see me and I can only the hint of a tear drop from his face. I can't do it… I can't go in there. I walk past the room and round the corner before Elle and Izzy stop me.

"What's going on?!" they asks in unison.

"I can't do it! He won't forgive me! I have never seen him like that before!" I lean against the cold brick and sink down to the ground.

"I just… I wanted him to be happy… I wanted him to live his life like he's always wanted to. I knew that he wouldn't be able to do that if was stripped of his runes. He's always wanted to be a shadowhunter! That's who he is… if he stayed here because of me… I would never forgive myself." I look at my feet but my head snaps back up when I hear a strangled voice ask,

"That's what you thought?" I look up and see Jace starring down at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Clary, there is more to me than just being a shadowhunter. I thought you knew that?" he asks with hurt coating his words.

I don't say anything because I'm afraid that if I do, I will just start crying all over again. "Perhaps we don't know each other like we used to… maybe I should leave."

I look up at him with fresh tears in his eyes but still, no words come out. He pinches his eyebrows together and gets back up before hesitantly walking away.

**A/N: it kind of hurt writing this chapter guys. **

**Anyways- I have good news and bad news. Good news- At regional's I got 2****nd**** over all with a time of 16:02 for running a 5K and I get to go to State!**

**Bad news- because I am going to state, that means a little more time away from the computer but NOT FOR LONG! Soon State will be over and the season will be done! **

**Thanks for reading! REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

_The Next Day…_

I wake up with a tight feeling on my face- probably from drying tears. I walk to the vanity put some foundation on to make me seem a little more alive, and I pull my hair into a ponytail. I walk out of the room and walk down the hall until I see Isabelle in her room, packing her things. "Were you going to say goodbye?" I ask weakly.

She turns to face me and I can't help but notice the slight bags that hang under her deep eyes. "Sorry…" is all she says to me but I can understand why. I broke her brother's heart for selfish reasons.

"We are leaving today… if you wanted to say goodbye." I nod my head and take a deep breath. All of my tears have run out. I walk to her and give her a hug and she whispers into my ear, "Make this better Clary."

I separate from her and say, "I'll try."

**JPOV**

I walk into the library where Alec told me he wanted to talk. "What is it Alec?" I ask.

He looks up from the book in his hand and his eyes land on me. "Good morning to you too."

"Alec, can we please try to be serious? I have packing to do."

He rolls his eyes and says, "Jace… why are you doing this to yourself? Why must you insist on making yourself miserable?"

I roll my eyes but pretend to feel something at his words as I out my hand to my chest and say, "Me? Miserable?!"

"I thought you wanted to be serious," says Alec with a bored expression on his face.

"I will be if you just tell me what this is about!" I yell at him as I move over to the leather couch to sit down.

"CLARY, Jace, it's about CLARY!" he exclaims and I hate the slight pull I get as a reaction to her name. She broke me… and then she tried to justify her actions with selfish reasons… but I was still in love with her.

"I don't want to talk about her," I say and I get up from the couch and being walking towards the door.

"So," continues Alec, "that's it? You aren't going to talk to her anymore… you don't lover her anymore-"

"Hell! You know I still love her!" I yell out instinctively, "You know that I will always love her, though clearly, the Clary I knew and loved died a year ago. I don't know who this Clary is…"

Alec sighs and says, "Jace, you don't mean that. You are just angry- angry with her for trying to do what was best for you, and angry with yourself for not being able to forgive her. She forgave you, Jace. She is still the same Clary… she will always be the same Clary, maybe the real person that has changed is you."

"Alec, let's be real, please-"

"I am being real! You don't think that after a year of searching for someone aimlessly, you haven't changed? That you haven't become more desperate for her? We have all seen what she has done with you and I think even you can agree it was for the better. The fact is you aren't the same Jace Lightwood that you were a year ago."

I can't help but believe what he is saying actually makes since, though I don't want it to. I don't want to believe I have changed…

"So," Alec continues, "go find her. Tell her the truth. Tell her you love her- ANYTHING… before it's too late."

For a slight moment I feel as though that could work until reality comes to me and I say, "I don't know if she even wants me back, Alec. I mean, first I cheat on her, and then I turn her away after she was trying to do something for my own good… I wouldn't want me back."

I don't give him time to say anything back as I walk out of the library and into my room to continue packing. I try to keep my mind blank but there is still one thought that swirls in my mind and refuses to leave… my Clary.

**CPOV**

I walk into the foyer where everyone is lined up and I see him standing there, looking as beautiful and charming as he looked the day I met him, though now, he seems tired and stressed to the point of no return. I look at everyone else- Simon, Isabelle, Alec, and Magnus. "Ready?" I ask them and I see them nod their heads.

I choke back a sob as I begin to draw a portal rune on the wall to New York. When I am done, I watch the markings turn from black, to an illuminated blue and the brick of the wall fall away until there is nothing but a blue, swirling pit of nothing. "This is it…" says Simon more to himself than anyone else.

"Bye Clare," says Izzy as she wraps her arms around my neck. I return the hug just as tight until she pulls away. I give Mags and Alec a hug as well.

"So Red… not coming with us?" asks Simon.

"N-not this time, Si," I say and try my best to choke down the words so that I believe them. He hugs me and I hug him back.

I don't look at Jace as he passes me but I can feel his gaze on me until he lines up with the others in front of the portal. Izzy turns around one last time and waves at me, before jumping through first, followed by Alec, Magnus, and Simon.

Before Jace jumps through however, he turns around and looks at me, as if searching for something. When I say nothing, or when I do nothing, he takes one final step, before disappearing and I didn't realize it, but right then and there, my whole world came crashing down.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay guys! But State is over with and I got 2****nd**** overall with a time of 15:12! Thank you all for reading this chapter and I will try to update more, but now I have lacrosse practice- though that shouldn't take much time.**

**Thanks for reading! REVIEW!**


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